No two people deal with death and grief in the same way. There is no right or wrong way to cope with grief. It is normal to experience intense and painful emotional reactions when someone important to you dies.
Grief is a vital part of the recovery process following the death of a loved one. It can involve a wide range of emotions including anger, sadness, guilt, depression, denial, fear, panic and loneliness. These feelings, although often bewildering, are common and natural.
The process of grief is often described as involving a number of stages, from shock to eventual recovery. These stages may or may not be experienced, or may be revisited over a period of time.
The grief experience is unique to each person and the following descriptions are purely an overview to assist you in identifying and coping with grief.
When you first learn that someone you love has died, your immediate reaction may be one of shock. You may be stunned and often disbelieving, especially if the death was sudden or unexpected. This is a natural reaction.
Letting go of your emotions and expressing your feelings helps the healing process and is a positive step. It is normal to want to cry, shout, be angry and reminisce.
In releasing your emotions you can become depressed and experience overwhelming feelings of loneliness. This is the time when you finally realise that the deceased has gone forever. You may become disinterested in what is happening around you.
Remembering the past you shared with your loved one is another natural part of the grieving process. All the good times shared with your loved one can become a constant thought. Although it may seem to hurt more, it can bring you some relief to share your memories and feelings with others.
You may begin to blame yourself or others for the death. “If only I’d been there for her” or “If only I hadn’t let him go there” are thoughts which may constantly cross your mind.
It is normal to experience anger and aggression. It is important to let this anger out and talk to someone you can trust and feel comfortable with in discussing the death.
You may experience certain physical symptoms during the course of your grieving. It is important for your health and well-being to take the time to look after yourself. Make sure you eat properly, exercise regularly, aim to get a good night’s sleep and visit your doctor for a check-up.
It will take time to work through the grieving process, but eventually you will start to feel better and ready to get on with your life again.
The length of time it takes to work through the grieving process varies from person to person. The painful feelings will diminish over time, but if they remain intense and prolonged, then it may indicate that professional help is needed.
If you would like assistance we can put you in touch with professional counsellors and support groups who may be able to help you. They are there to help you with any problems and to show you how to effectively manage your grief – you are not alone.
The grieving process will be a difficult time for you, but by following a few practical steps you may be able to re-adjust to life more quickly.
Dear Asha and Team,
When my son suicided it was the darkest time of my life. Your care, love and compassion helped to carry us through. You seemed to know exactly what we wanted and everything was handled with understanding and delicacy.
The service was a perfect tribute to his remarkable life. Your ability to accommodate our unusual requests (people signing the coffin and posting photo’s on it) meant that Sean received the farewell that I am sure he would have wanted.
Thank you all so much.
It was such an emotional time for us but your professionalism and compassion helped enormously.
I haven’t been through this process before but it wasn’t upsetting as both Julie and Jo gave us such support and nothing was too much trouble.
I would definitely recommend Grace Funerals after our experience.
“The team at Grace Funerals, especially Asha and Tom, are wonderful people to work with. They provided professional, compassionate guidance through the funeral planning process, and my dad’s service was exactly how we envisioned
“Not only were you all very patient but showed compassion in this difficult time. Tom we thank you and all your wonderful staff. The women looked so beautiful on the day and we were all touched at how everything fell into place. We think Dad would have been honoured.“
“Your professionalism, graciousness, love, comfort & support show to us at this most difficult time of losing our beautiful mother will never be forgotten. Every detail was handled with perfection, everything was very well co-ordinated in a very tight timeframe.”
“Words cannot express our thanks and gratitude to you and the staff at Grace Funerals. You kindness and assistance made the day a beautiful memory for us to reflect back on.“
“The funeral service that you put together was absolutely perfect and was exactly what mum would have wanted. Please know that if I ever need a funeral director again you will be my first call.“
Grace Funerals were professional, compassionate and showed immense understanding throughout the whole process of my grandmother’s funeral. They came highly recommended by our Bishop and entire church community – and know I know why! Their service was outstanding and they showed show much attention to detail. Asha went out of her way to make sure the funeral was as beautiful and memorable as our nan while also carefully considering our budget and highly unique needs. The facilities had a wonderful ambiance and the day felt intimate, warm and welcoming. We had several extenuating circumstances that could have proven extremely difficult and stressful but Asha and her team really took us by the hand and handled everything for us. We can’t thank you enough. I would never go anywhere else now! I can’t recommend you highly enough!